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What good can come of this? hopefully it stirs your soul, uncovers small truths and in time... awakens love.
Wednesday, October 27, 2021
baseball
Explaining baseball today to people that don't understand baseball...
Last night's game was a classic NL vs AL game in that the NL team got a runner on first, stole 2nd (free tacos!!) and then hit a double to bring the runner in. Hits on hits on hits. The AL team then responded by taking huge hacks at off-speed pitches out of the zone, trying to power their way back. One inning they were able to geta rally built on a hit and some walks but left the bases loaded. (Oy vey!) Aside from Tucker, there was no patience to take what they were giving. Meanwhile the NL team looked for base runners first and pitches to drive second and the AL team only looked to crush longballs.
The Astros fans that I've spoken to today are sad and defeated but I explained to them too that it's not so bad. They just need to win tonight and win game 4. Then worst case scenario, the series becomes best of 3 with two in Houston. Plus, Morton is done, so it could be easier than they think.
Thursday, October 14, 2021
still triggered
Even though I know who I am and what I'm about. And even as strong of a foundation of comfort and contentment as I have built, I have to admit that I'm still embarrassingly triggered by even hearing/seeing names on a screen of people from high school. It's easy enough to avoid on a daily and it's called purposeful limited social media interaction. To self-diagnose the core of it, there was a time before I was 21(ish) that I cared deeply about approval of others and needed to fit into a social group and because I hadn't established my own identity yet, I often let others create me to fit their needs. I knew how to be loyal and I loved to a fault. It was really a twisted combination of things and it wasn't really great.
Writing shit like this is so helpful to overcome the anxiety of it and it makes me proud and thankful I've since learned to exist in a space that is more homagenous with my interests, needs and values all of which I actually have now.
Which is all just a nice way to say that I'm glad I've learned to say, "fuck it - who cares"
Tuesday, October 12, 2021
politics
I've been thinking lately about politics and what they have become in our modern world. I don't understand getting mad at people who have different ideas about how to make the world better. Disagreeing is foundational to a healthy democracy. However, I have no time for the belligerent ones who only want to inflict hatred and hurt on the world.
I think a good qualifier is "if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem."
If your solution only serves your selfish ambition, exists to opress or creates separatism, inequality and/or exclusion, you are wrong.
Tuesday, October 05, 2021
take a good, hard look, buttmunch. I'm better than you now.
For quite some time now I've felt foolish about how often I think about people from my past who were intentionally malicious toward me. But I'm starting to realize that with every benchmark of even the smallest success, I want them to see that despite their best efforts, they couldn't hold me down. The more I remember them, the more I overcome the oppression, the better I become.
I hope they are all taking a good hard look and that it's pissing them off.
